Feedback

I got an email today from one of the teachers at one of the studios I teach. She was giving some awesome general feedback to the group. At first though, I had my usual reaction of being upset that it might be me and then my next typical reaction of "oh no that's not me, I do that all the time so she must be talking about everyone else". After I got through all that drama in my head, I finally stepped back and noticed my reaction. As mentioned before, this is a typical reaction to feedback. I have always been a pleaser even as a girl. I never needed much punishment other than my family telling me I had disappointed them because immediately I would burst into tears. This was punishment enough.

As I got older, I continued pleasing with good grades and behavior. My teachers loved me! Anytime I had any drama though it was because THEY were wrong. Then I started teaching yoga. In this community we are big on feedback because it is a great way to grow. I have struggled with it as I took everything personally and either got really down on myself or the person giving the feedback. And it continues today still in my teaching (both yoga and school), relationships, etc.

I think yoga was the first place that I picked up on my reaction though. Baron gave us some guidelines on giving and receiving feedback. For receiving, we were not to respond, just take it in and ponder, then decide what to keep and what to leave. I was astonished - I could leave something? What a concept...

Now I am reading Christina Sell's book Yoga From the Inside Out. I haven't made it far yet but already she speaks to this side of me. This side that believes all the negative or gets angry at the source of the feedback. Why can't I just process, then take it or leave it? Actually I am getting better at it each time I practice. And just noticing this, I believe is a first step.

So how about you? Anybody else respond to feedback in this way? If so, I highly recommend Christina's book and Baron's receiving instructions. Their words have guided me a great deal.

Back with renewed faith

Just looking at the date on my last post makes me cringe. But I can't hide from it. It really has been that long. I broke my promise to write each week. I let school take over my life. But now that is in the past. I can't change it but I can pick myself up and start again. So here I go again...

I work really hard at whatever I commit myself to and I did a great job this year with my kids. However, I think I did lose a little faith in myself. I let a lot of other things go like this blog, my health, my practice. I realized I couldn't do it all and then struggled to figure out how much to do in each area. Now that school is out, I renewed my effort back towards myself. I'm trying to eat better, practice daily, blog weekly and clean and organize my life.

As I began this quest this month, I started to renew my faith in myself again. Do I still need to learn how to prioritize? Yes, of course. And that's not really happening now with my time off. But I did start realizing again how much I am capable of accomplishing and how I really do know what's best for me when I stop and listen. That faith in myself will go a long way if I continue to hold onto it. It's like the arm balances I have planned for my classes this week. When I first learned Bakasana (crow), I was all alone in my house in Houston. I had to be on carpet and by myself to have the faith that A. I wouldn't hurt myself and B. Nobody would be around to laugh at me! At least that was what I thought. Eventually it turned out that I just had to have faith in myself and I was airborne=)

I know that since I haven't written it will take some time to have people reading again. But I hope if you do that you too will either find and/or continue to have faith in yourselves. And I will continue mine as I keep working towards my goals.