still radiating

So I have been feeling guilty about not posting but still trying to give myself a break as it is TAKS season and the pressure is on! For those of you who don't know that I also teach fourth grade math, that's what I'm talking about. Sounds crazy but this job is way more stressful than when I was a petroleum engineer...

But I am still alive and well. If you come to my classes, you know I have been working my way through the sutras. As I started to prepare for class tonight, I read yet another suggestion from Patajali on how to calm my mind. This one was something like "experience inner radiance free from sorrow"! Oh it sounds so easy. The explanation goes on to mention that we should dwell on feelings of inner illumination and joy. Sure, no problem. But then it goes on to say that we may find ourselves without these feelings sometimes....okay, finally something I could relate to. And ultimately it goes on to say that in these times it is useful to begin with recognition of being alive and go from there to spark the inner radiance. "Gradually" she says, "the heart opens a little and we begin to experience the real feelings we had hoped for". And now we come to the reason, I was drawn to Anusara yoga.

I have always been a little cynical and sarcastic to say the least. And though I loved yoga from the start, sometimes it got a little ooey gooey for me. I felt inauthentic in some of the love fest. When I discovered Anusara yoga and it's tantric philosophy, I got the message that yes, sometimes you do feel sorrowful. But that doesn't mean you have lost the light inside. It's still there. And when you practice and open your heart to the grace inside, it will radiate from you authentically and blissfully. That really spoke to me personally and I offer it to you if it speaks to you. Needless to say, we'll be opening to grace tonight in a backbendy, arm balancey kind of way with our inner bodies bright and radiant=)